Tips to care for yourself as you remember and grieve lost loved ones at the holidays
The bright lights and bustle of the holiday season can bring with it difficult moments for people for different reasons. Grief for a recent, or long lost loved one is one of those challenges. The team at Can-Trust Funerals has some suggestions based on serving families preparing to mark loss in funeral home services in Richmond, Surrey, Burnaby, Coquitlam and greater Vancouver.
Mourners have the opportunity to express anguish and tears of sadness at the time of a funeral or memorial. Mourning is public. It is acceptable and encouraged.
Grief is the silent, private part that endures with no predictable limit. It can be anticipated as a recurring reminder of our loss, recent or long ago, or it can ambush us – brought on as we see holiday decorations going up, or receive invitations for rounds of merrymaking and celebrations for a great new year ahead.
Can-Trust’s Funeral Directors offer this advice on how to care for ourselves and perhaps to ease our feeling alone with the distress and our worry about spoiling the time for family and friends. Two main ideas of feeling and action might be of help.
1. Take time to mark the moment
Choose from any of the rituals to honour those who passed and to mark your personal remembrance of them, even well after their funeral or memorial.
- It is customary in many religions and societal traditions to remember the dead with visits to the physical grave. Christmas like the anniversary of the death is a natural time for family and friends to visit the grave.
- Bring flowers or other objects to remember the deceased. These are sometimes placed on the grave as a sign of respect.
- Bring candles, a wreath or take comfort by making your own ornaments as a meaningful gesture to decorate the monument.
2. Look Up and Out, Never Giving Up
Try to be ‘outgoing’ and try to look outside yourself to see the positive moments and people around you.
- You can be true to your feelings yet join in as you can in activity with others.
- Get outside to enjoy fresh air to restore energy to the body and perspective to the spirit.
- Feel and act at your own comfort level. There’s no need to push beyond what you can do, only to be open to do something and not isolate yourself during this season.
We have been working closely as a team at Can-Trust-Funerals for years. We know the mix of heartbreak and happiness in memories that flood us at this time of year. That includes you and the care we encourage you to offer yourself.
Should we be able to ease your mind as you consider advance death care arrangements in the Metro Vancouver area or need to talk to us now, please contact us for a consult. You are never under any obligation.
We wish you the best at this time. To all we extend the guiding principal that helps us help others, Compassion, Always.
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