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How to cope at Valentine’s Day when grief has taken hold of your heart from Vancouver’s Can-Trust-Funeral Home and Services  

Valentine’s Day is a time that celebrates love and our emotional relationships with family, friends, partners and spouses. Yet for anyone grieving a loss, no matter how much time since their loved one has passed, Valentine’s Day can be tough. Can-Trust’s funeral directors have seen individuals cope with grief. They have some ideas if you are feeling a loss deeply around Valentine’s Day, in the midst of inescapable marketing and store displays on romance and coupled bliss. 

These are places of sanctuary for the soul and some gestures that may lighten your heart as you feel and you remember:   

Accept that grief is personal 

• Not only is there no time limit for any one person’s healing, each person feels it in their own way.  

• Ignore the ‘rules’ and you do you. Cope as you are in the way that comforts you. Don’t take on any pressure, on any given day to be a certain way.  

Honour your loved one’s memory 

• What about doing something in memory of your beloved?  

• It could become your new Valentine’s Day tradition when thinking of them and feeling their absence.  

Honour the loved one by continuing to live well   

• If you allows yourself to focus on self-care, you add life to your years and the energy to keep your loved one’s memory and impact alive.  

• Many sources for tips to get through Valentine’s Day may urge a quiet time of reflection and recharge. Today’s truth is that everyone has quiet time now due to the pandemic. Many can’t spend time with loved ones. Your distance is simply more permanent.  

Be thine own Valentine and consider any of these ideas to share your thoughts or find solace in activity or reflection: 

• Brighten the day or your home with flowers 
• Breathe purposefully, meditate, walk, exercise, get a massage, have a nice meal, rest well and go for that chocolate of your choice  

• Share your feelings with family, friends, and confidants and arrange to spend time with others, not ONLY couples who celebrate Valentine’s Day 

Valentine’s Day will never be the same without your loved one, and it’s okay, even healthy, to experience sadness at this thought. Perhaps if you plan ahead and incorporate some of these activities in the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, you can prepare yourself for the holiday and find peace of mind in the midst of a dizzying array of hearts, cards and candy.     

A professional funeral director helps people with their funeral arrangements and the many choices involved in funeral services. They see the deep pain of bereavement directly and so also have the experience to assure you that this pain you feel, it does shift over time.    

If you require reliable, straightforward and affordable service, and with compassion, always, contact  Can-Trust-Funeral before you engage with any funeral homes. Call 604-376-7975 or email to book a free professional consultation. You are never obligated.     

Our Can-Trust team of licensed funeral directors, provides funeral services in Burnaby, funeral services in Richmond, Vancouver and throughout the Lower Mainland.     

Phone: 604-376-7975     

E-mail: can-trust-funeral@outlook.com     

WeChat: Cantrustfuneral     

Learn more at the Can-Trust Funeral Ltd website 

Why families turn to care and experience of Richmond-based Can-Trust-Funeral’s funeral directors when faced with a death and funeral arrangements near the Lunar New Year

A death in the family is unfortunate at any time. Yet, families in some cultures feel that additional bad luck befalls them if they need to make funeral arrangements and to observe a period of mourning at the time of an auspicious celebration. Such is the case for funerals or deaths, falling at the Lunar New Year, also known as the Spring Festival. The licensed professional funeral directors at Richmond-based Can-Trust-Funerals have experience in guiding families as they plan funeral arrangements at any time. While each event marks a death such as the end of the year and the start of a bright New Year with many known rituals of celebration, the other is the final end of life with many, often complex rituals that mark a final death in a family. Special caring and capable support is available for such funeral arrangements in Vancouver, funeral services in Burnaby, in Richmond and funeral ceremonies in Coquitlam and New Westminster.  

Common Practices  

There are some practices in common for both Lunar New Year preparations and those carried out for funerals in Chinese families. Close family and cultural connections are clear as families prepare their homes, don different clothes and travel to be together. Families set aside money to put all the necessary elements in place for the occasion and to spend on gifts for special relationships. The detail and duty, however in funeral arrangements for a forever farewell at a Chinese funeral service, burial or cremation can be complex. BC’s Lower Mainland families rely on the licensed death care professionals at Can-Trust-Funeral to guide them. The funeral directors are trusted for their impeccable handling of the paperwork and are sought out for their exceptional care of the family.  

As a Vancouver funeral home, the funeral directors are especially attentive in helping Chinese families fulfill their obligations. Even as families outside of Hong Kong or Mainland China may adapt funeral services to be less lengthy and funeral arrangements to be more in line with local community choices, the details are still so many and significant that respectful and experienced professional care is a necessity. 

These are some of the elements of culture Can-Trust helps families fulfill:  

Timing       

The choice of a suitable and auspicious date for the funeral arrangements is important as mourners believe it impacts a family’s fortunes. So, the Chinese are particular about dates and consult the lunar calendar book and expert for the right dates for burial and service according to customs for particular good luck dates. 

Can-Trust-Funeral proceeds with cultural sensitivity, regardless of the religious or traditional rites of the families the funeral directors serve.  

Death near or on Lunar New Year can put the fortunes of the family into a precarious position.   New Year is a time for firsts, for looking forward and funerals are not an auspicious way to begin the year, in the perceptions of many Chinese people. 

Can-Trust’s funeral directors can assure families they have time to carry out proper funeral arrangements. A priority is time to allow family members to travel if needed to be together for the funeral services. Ceremonies may last hours or days according to how families observe their traditions.   

Connection of family and community  

Gathering together to grieve, to show respect and to support the family is naturally, a part of the Chinese funeral arrangement and experience.  

Can-Trust-Funeral’s funeral directors strive to accommodate these elements to support a family within the pandemic protocols for safety. These include casket placement, viewings and the exchange of the traditional red envelopes and the white envelopes. 

Social distance in compliance with COVID regulations, can be heartbreaking.  Cameras now often stand in place of participants and give mourners the chance to participate virtually from their homes to share the funeral service via video link. (Video funeral service tips)  

A word about money  

Chinese culture has in its elaborate funeral rites and memorial rituals, allows for time and money as part of the honouring of the souls of those who have died. 

This commitment can make families vulnerable as they try to fulfill traditions and have a desire to do the right thing in the eyes of the family, community and in the memory of the loved one who passed. 

The topic of money is hardly avoided in this tradition. The funeral service itself includes Joss money, crafted from bamboo or rice paper that is burnt during Chinese funerals in order to ‘give’ money to the souls of the deceased. 

Mourners leave money in white envelopes to help with the family’s funeral expenses and to show respect. Red pockets or red envelopes that contain a candy to have a sweet taste in mourner’ mouths and a coin to be spent soon after the funeral service are distributed by the family.  

Funeral arrangements may include costs not faced by other families. There is pressure to select a casket befitting the loved one’s role and position in the family and to provide silk blankets in distinct colours for each child to place on the body in respect for all the times the parent has cared for them in their lives. Uniquely coloured flowers for each generation of females and similarly unique armbands for the males related to the deceased.   

These are just some examples, in addition to the headstones, grave markers, burial plots, urns and costs of the funeral service itself such as flowers, décor and photos, paperwork costs, foods, transportation including possibly out of province or country for burial and officiants. 

Can-Trust-Funeral’s professional standards and company’s code of ethics ensures that families preparing funeral arrangements in advance or at time of need, receive all the information and guidance to make fair and proper decisions that suit the family’s vision and preferences in the final farewell funeral ceremonies for their loved ones.     

Can-Trust-Funeral wishes all Lower Mainland families prosperity for this Lunar New Year,  Year of the Ox and peace of mind, and in these days, safety and health all year round.  

For caring guidance on all options in the Lower Mainland community, Can-Trust funeral directors provide reliable, straightforward and affordable service 

With compassion, always.  

Before you engage with any funeral homes, please call Can-Trust-Funeral at 604-376-7975 or email to book a free professional consultation. You are never obligated.  

Can-Trust’s team of licensed funeral directors, provides funeral services in Burnaby, funeral services in Richmond, Vancouver and throughout the Lower Mainland.

Phone: 604-376-7975  

E-mail: can-trust-funeral@outlook.com  

WeChat: Cantrustfuneral  

Visit us online for more information.